w/e

I've been listening to people for the last couple weeks. They don't know what I've heard, and I won't say the people who told me. Most of it was over hearing.
Guess there is a use of being invisable sometimes. I won't say who, because they know who they are.
I know that people are startting to get tired of my "pitty depression act"
Well, Screw you idiots.
I thought you where all my friends, and I thought you would all know better then to know me to take some petty meaningless hit and blow it out of paportion, or after all ths shit my brother pulled to be that desperate for attention, but, apparently I was wrong.
Some of my closesst friends have startted fadeing, tired of me "selling out on them"
You guys have no idea...no damn idea how hard it is for me to let moe go with friends and stay behind, makeing up some meaningless excuse. I do it not because I want to, and hell knows I have NOTHING better to do. I do it because lately I've been so utterly lost, and so depressed ( and no not the faking it fuck tards ) I haven't wanted to ruin any of your idiots good time. I don't want to sit there being asked every few seconds, "are you ok? are you ok?"
I stay behind because the one thing I SWORE never to do was drag the people I love down.
I love you all...If I didn't, I wouldn't be trying so hard to keep what little contact I have.
I hoped you would try to understand, I hoped that you might be there, instead of startting visious rumors, and slideing painfull words behind my back, just in ear shot.
Joey, I love you, and I know you think I'm ditching you, but you couldn't be more wrong. I know staying in your room all day non stop bothers you, I know its getting to you, I know all the shit jessica pulls gets to you, and Jessica if you read this, I know you yourself are under a lot of preasure, and going through heaps of confusion, understandable.
But Joey, I AM trying, If I tried any harder I'de be a vegtable.
And this goes to everyone....please. I am trying.
At least relize that much.


Please listen to this song...most important thing in this bulletin - Taproot - Hate Myself.