Scnerio

I step in the shower with the hope that hot water will wash every thought away. I can feel every drop as it rolls down my skin. I lean against the wall, my head tilting up, the hot water scorching my eyes, its painful but I don't move, I focus on it instead.
It feels like mere seconds before the water is freezing, I'm shaking, but at the same time I don't feel cold. I step out of the shower, not bothering with a towl. I walk across the long bathroom to the double mirrors, my reflection seems blurred and unreal. I drag my fingers across the glass, I watch as the fog is swept away like magic behind my fingers. In one of the claw like spaces I see my eyes staring back. Ice cold blue and empty...but underneath that there was something else. I imagined myself staring back out at me from my eye, in a dark room and screaming a soundless scream, face twisted in anguish. I knew what I was screaming for even though I couldn't hear it.
"Mercy. God please, mercy".
I feel my hands groping around for something, it stumbles across something small and I feel my fist close around it. My eyes sweep over my face, pale skin, pink lips, square jaw matched with a rounder face, and finely back to the large ice blue eyes.
I gasp as a sudden pain sears up my arm, looking down I see red every where. I try to think where the pain came from, where the red was coming from, but my mind was slipping away. I reach for a towl, anything to stop it, but my moves are clumsy, I stumble, I don't feel the pain of the floor, just the crack of my head against a chair.

I feel myself be jostled around, my arms are strapped down, I try to open my eyes but can't. I hear voices calling my name, but I can't answer them, something is pressed hard over my mouth. Sound is fading in and out, I finely manage to pick up a siren. A ambulance.
I pry my eyes open, a EMT stares back down at me, hes flashing something in my eyes. I try to look down at my arms, the pain in them was growing. Bandages wrapped my arms so thick I felt like they were in cast's, crimson was soaking through them, the white was disapearing quicker and quicker.
I slip back into sleep.

Weeks later a friend ask's me what I learned from the experience. I just look at her and say.
"To cut deeper, and lock the door"